Overheard

This past Sunday afternoon I needed to bring some information to some church members who were having a planning meeting at a cafe down the street from the house.  I walked over and joked with them a little and then told them what I'd come to tell them.

The cafe isn't all that large, and there were only two parties present.  One was the planning meeting, and the other was a couple I'd never seen before.  No, wait, I'd seen them as they were parking their car in front of the cafe. Anyway, I couldn't help but overhear part of the conversation they were having with the waitress.  By "they" I mean the husband.  The wife didn't offer anything.  The waitress must have been talking about churches, because this is what I heard from him:

Well, the Methodist Church preaches a watered-down the message...

My first reaction was to defend us and to invite him to our church, which doesn't seem to preach a watered-down message (at least not to my knowledge - you can read my sermons and make your own judgment).  Then I thought, "And then we'll have this guy who'll just as soon attack us..."  And furthermore, I needed to get home to take care of the kids.

This got me to thinking, however.  What is a watered-down message? 

I was going to define watered-down message, but I found a good definition out there.Dan defines watered-down gospel this way:

"Watered-down gospel" is often an accusation that is more feeling than logic. In other words, it sounds powerful and inflammatory, but the people using it really don't have any true definition of the phrase. For one, what do they mean by "gospel"? Do they mean doctrine? Do they mean "message of salvation?" Do they mean practice? In my experience, it usually means "your doctrine doesn't line up with ours, or doesn't go as deep as ours, so you are lesser Christians than we are." It tends to be tossed from those who love doctrine at those who love people. In the end, I think it's a meaningless phrase, so I try not to use it or answer to it.

 I'm glad I didn't try to get into it with the guy.  I know what the outcome would have been: I would have gotten frustrated in trying to demonstrate to him that our message isn't watered-down. And I wouldn't have made any difference in his life.

Besides, it wasn't my conversation!

If you were his waitress, how might you have responded to this gentleman?

Truth-telling

Yesterday I read this blog entry about lying pastors and I have been chewing on it overnight.  To sum up the article, the author was in a conversation with other United Methodist pastors and the question was posed, "When is it necessary for pastors to lie to people?" He answered that it was never necessary, at which point the entire table disagreed with him with comments like this:

• You can’t tell people in the church the truth.  They can’t handle it.  We are there to protect them.
• Yeah, the church I serve has some really dark skeletons in its closet.  There is nothing good that would come of letting people know what really happened.
• And you know for a fact that we can’t tell people in our churches a lot of what we learn at seminary.  They don’t want to hear it, so we tell the same old stories the same old ways to keep everyone happy.
• Mostly it isn’t lying; it’s just not telling the truth.
  

Really, to get the whole picture, you should go and read his post. And while you're at it, read his follow up posts here and here.

I was frankly shocked that the pastors would suggest that lying is not only somehow "OK" but even necessary or required for ministry.

Two of the reasons they posed that lying was necessary were to protect the congregation and to keep the peace.  I remember an incident in college when my fraternity brother David Schaff came to me and said, "You first introduced me to Jesus, but I don't see you living that kind of lifestyle right now."

He didn't protect my feelings. He risked our friendship and his standing in the fraternity.  But it was absolutely worth it, for him as well as for me.

They posed that lying is necessary to maintain confidentiality; that if you tell someone that this isn't their business, that they will assume the worst.  Which is worse, breaking confidence, lying about the confidential material, or having someone assume the worst?  I pose that "this is none of your business" or "this is confidential" is a whole lot better than giving false information, no matter what sinful gossips are going to make of it.  Just because someone is going to react sinfully does not justify us sinning in the first place.  Jesus told his followers that if someone strikes you on the cheek [sinful behavior], turn to him the other also.  And if someone wants to sue you [sinful behavior] and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well.    What he is saying is that our behavior should not be contingent upon the behavior of those around us.

The real danger here is this: the very notion that pastors must lie, even if there are gray areas where truth-telling seems dangerous - this belief forces the creation of two classes, one that is somehow "above the rules" (those would be the lying clergy people) while the others (laity) must obey God's rules.  There are already enough divisions between clergy and laity, and we members of the clergy are too often put on pedestals (and we often contribute to that) and/or held at arms length (as "acceptable outsiders").  These only lead to a lack of trust, a distrust that our profession has earned over many years of lying to our parishioners.

I have been told that the reason so many people appreciate a pastor's visit so much (especially in the hospital or in times of deep distress) is that for those moments, we represent God to them.  I personally believe that this isn't just the job of the "pastor" but is also the job of anyone who carries the Holy Spirit within him or her.  God blesses us to be a blessing; to represent Him in the world.  What kind of representation do we offer when we feel like we need to break one of His Commandments?  And how can we expect people to trust fully in God if we're representing Him through deceit?

Here's Hoping

I updated the publishing portion of my blog today.  This shouldn't have any impact on you, but I was hoping it would have some impact for me; I was hoping that it would allow me to title my blog posts.

My sermon blog has a little blank above where I type my posts.  I have it on my (limited) igoogle homepage.  But not on my blogger page.

It didn't work. 
Drat.

Priscilla Shirer: Catalyst Speaker recap

Honestly I don't remember all of what Priscilla Shirer said - my notes were few. I do remember that she was awesome in saying it. She is an extremely gifted speaker. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree (her father is a gifted speaker as well).

Her theme was from Joshua 3, where Joshua acted immediately in response to God, crossing the Jordan at flood stage. She focused on "God is the leader; follow Him."

She told some stores about her family - one was about Christmas morning when she and her husband attempted to remind their 5 and 3 year old children about the real reason for Christmas:

Dad: "Whose birthday are we celebrating?"
5 year old: "Jesus"
3 year old (looking at his pile of presents): "am I Jesus?"

She didn't just leave a funny story to stand on its own, however; she immediately showed its relevance: Don't we often act like that? Like we think we're Jesus?

As I write about this, I can't help but think about Christmas - how we say we're celebrating Jesus' birthday, but we do all but that. Our parties and our gift-giving center around us - ourselves, our families, and our friends. We must be Jesus then. Can you sitting on the floor on Christmas morning, surrounded by piles of gifts, then looking over and seeing Jesus alone on the other side of the room...

As a church leader, I am convinced that our church can change this trend. Or at least we can start to do a better job of celebrating Jesus' birthday.

Catalyst Conference Recap: The Compassion Moment

If you were at Catalyst, you witnessed a powerful moment. If not, you can watch it below. (If you don't have enough time to watch the whole video, start at 3:45 for Jimmy Wambua's interview).

Catalyst 2009 Compassion Moment from Catalyst on Vimeo.

Here's the summary: through Compassion International Mark (a Canadian) sponsored Jimmy in Africa. To Jimmy, this meant life. Now Jimmy himself sponsors a child in Haiti - what an awesome example of compassion at work.

There wasn't a dry eye in the stadium when Jimmy was asked if he'd ever met his sponsor and Mark walked on stage.

Catalyst Speaker: Rob Bell

I've seen Rob Bell speak several times before, I've read his books, and I've seen several of his videos, and I've always been challenged and encouraged by what he has to say. Last Winter at the NPC he rocked the house with an amazing message: he started out talking about the wrongs that "church people" have done to us (as pastors), but he moved on to talk about forgiveness - giving us a concrete way to forgive.

At Catalyst, he told us he was going to go in a different direction, that the Holy Spirit was leading him to go in another direction than the one he had planned ("the importance of beginning with the beginning"). Instead, he talked about "Is Bigger Better?"

In John 6, the evangelist talks about many in the crowd turned back and no longer followed Jesus. Sometimes the crowd thins.

In Luke 21, the widow's mite was somehow more than the gifts of the rich.

From this platform, he talked about how sometimes we pastors and church leaders chase after the next great thing, sometimes at the risk of ourselves and/or our families. We ask "what if the next thing we do isn't popular?" when this isn't Jesus' question at all.

He brought up one Jewish view of the Ten Words (Commandments) that says that the first 9 are eternally visible, but the last (envy) isn't, perhaps because if one keeps the first 9, the final is given as a reward. We won't want anyone else's life; ours is just fine.

He then shifted to talk about loving neighbor as self - and if we don't care for ourselves, we aren't loving self. (Example: Are we taking a REAL Sabbath?) Until we take care of ourselves, we can't take care of others.

Then he asked about our spouses & kids: are they getting our very best or what's left over?

Rob Bell's message was a timely message for many there; it's a message we all need to hear and hear and hear again. We cannot sacrifice our families at the altar of the church, and we cannot be constantly committing adultery with Christ's Bride. We are called to have the following priorities (in this order):

1. God
2. Our families
3. Our church/job
   

It can be easy to "accidentally" exchange #3 for #1 - thinking we're focusing on God, but really we're focusing on the church. Then our families suffer. Then we suffer. I'm not sure why Rob Bell said that what he was going to say was controversial; he seemed genuinely scared/nervous when he told us that he was going to switch streams and all. It didn't seem controversial whatsoever. Maybe he is really hard-charging and he was preaching primarily to himself. With as high-profile he is as a pastor, author, and public speaker, I can imagine this being the case. I know from a conversation I had at the NPC with an employee of his that he expects hard work and long hours from his employees, but that he expects the BEST from himself.

It's a good reminder, no matter if he was simply preaching to himself.

What do you do to ensure that God gets your best and that your family doesn't end up getting left-overs?

Catalyst Speaker: Shane Hipps

Shane Hipps had a career in advertising as a strategic planner in communications for Porsche, where, as he tells it in his book Flickering Pixels, his task was:

to hijack your imagination, brand your brain with our logo, and then feed you opinions you thought were your own.

With this background, he became extremely media-savvy, and in this he figured out that the medium is the message. This is why someone might say something to you like, "It wasn't what you said; it was the way you said it." Because you might have said something nice or kind, but your body language and your tone of voice communicated something else.

How you say something is as important as what you say.

This is true with regard to the medium through which you choose to communicate as well. The medium, remember, is the message. And according to Hipps, Christianity is fundamentally a communication event.

I love the fact that guys like Shane Hipps are critically engaging communication culture, and it was quite ironic to be watching him on the 8 giant screens at Catalyst. But I was agreeing with him as we sang worship songs and not only were the lyrics on those screens, but they also included extreme close-ups of the worship leaders, and this was distracting (and a little bit embarrassing) to me. It elevated them from worship leaders (or lead worshipers) to big screen icons. I know that wasn't their intention, but it affirms Hipps' message.

I believe Shane Hipps is spot-on, and we need to evaluate our every use of technology as we communicate (irony #2 - that I write this on a blog, which I will share on Facebook and I really haven't evaluated how the message might change from me thinking it to typing it to it being read...)

The only thing that I think needs re-evaluated from the Hippsian point-of-view is the assertion that Christianity is fundamentally a communication event. I believe that Christianity is fundamentally a relationship; it's not just about communication, it's about a Person. To be fair, media (GREATLY) affects our communication about the Person (whether that communication be about God the Father, God the Son, or God the Spirit), but the heart of Christianity is not simply communication, it is a Person.

And that somehow changes the entire equation.

Catalyst Speaker: Malcolm Gladwell

First of all, let me just go ahead and say it. Malcolm Gladwell is a genius. You should immediately go out and buy all his books and start reading them now.

Or you could just read his blog.

At Catalyst, he talked about leadership, mostly from the standpoint of the Civil War, and the main point he brought out was this:

What we need from our leaders in times of crises is not bold and daring leadership. It is humility.

Overconfidence is marked by not listening to others, while humility does.

The rub here is who the "others" are to whom a good leader should listen. Discernment certainly has a top priority in this; spiritual discernment of who those "others" are can make or break a leader.

Who do you listen to?

Catalyst Speaker: Chuck Swindoll, part 3.

Five Statements Worth Remembering Over the Next 50 Years:

1. Whatever you do, do more with others and less alone. Relationship is key.

2. Whenever you do it, emphasize quality over quantity.

3. Wherever you go, do it the same as if you were among those who know you the best. This keeps us humble - especially when people who could refute our outrageous claims might be present!

4. Whoever may respond, keep a level head. Don't let the flatterers swell your head, and don't let the complainers crush your spirit.

5. However long you lead, keep on dripping with gratitude and grace.

Catalyst Speaker: Chuck Swindoll, part 2

Three Important Observations to keep in mind as church leaders:

1. With every ministry, a special mercy is needed. In 2 Corinthians 4, Paul talks about this - it is only through God's mercy that "we have this ministry" - and that must always be true. It's never about us; we don't "preach ourselves" but only Jesus Christ. We are "jars of clay" (v. 7) - or "earthen vessels" to show that the power is God's, not ours.

2. In every ministry, the same things must be renounced and rejected:

• Hiding shameful things
• Doing deceitful things (wearing masks/playing games)
• Corrupting truthful things

3. Through every ministry, a unique style should be pursued. Still,

• It's not about me.
• We declare Jesus Christ as Lord (it's all about Him).
• We see ourselves as bondservants.
• We never forget who we are... and who He is.
• We fight temptation to be self-reliant, spectacular, or controlling.
  

Catalyst Speaker: Chuck Swindoll

Chuck Swindoll received a lifetime achievement award from Catalyst Conference - it was great to see this conference recognize that we are standing on the shoulders of spiritual giants like Swindoll.

I will break his message into three blog posts. The first is this: Ten rules for doing things God's way:

1. It's lonely to lead.
2. It's dangerous to succeed (especially young).
3. It's hardest at home.
4. It's essential to be real.
5. It's painful to obey (giving up my way for the way of the cross).
6. Brokenness and failure are necessary (everything we learned has been through affliction, not happiness)
7. My attitude is more important than my actions.
8. Integrity eclipses image.
9. God's way is always better than my way
10. Christ-likeness begins and ends with humility.

Catalyst Conference Speaker: Andy Stanley #1

In Andy Stanley's first message, he talked about making your mark (this was a theme in the conference). He stated that we won't see the mark we've left until long after we've left it. The challenge is that we don't know the thing we've done that will make the greatest impact - for good or for bad.

He talked about Joshua and his command to the Israelites to "cling to the Lord your God" and to "be very careful to love the Lord your God." Joshua famously stated "As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord."

Joshua's defining moment came in Joshua 5:13, where he asked the angel "are you for us or our enemies?" and the angel answered, "No."

We're not asking God if he's for us or against us: we're making the choice to be for or against God. This is huge!!!

Then Andy reminded us that "God takes full responsibility for the life that is wholly devoted to Him."

When we settle once and for all whose mark we will leave, we won't wonder who is for me or against me; we will decide who we will live for. These are two different things. We have to daily declare to God that we're for Him.

Living to make my mark is way to small a thing to give my life to.

Getting to the Catalyst Conference

This past week, Rudy, Chad, and I made our way to Atlanta, GA, for the Catalyst Conference. If you want to know why we chose Catalyst, it's because we started listening to Francis Chan's podcasts (from Cornerstone Church - just click on Media and you can listen, too. Currently I have 217 of his podcasts on my iPod and have been listening to him while I run) and the guy has completely blown us away. So we started looking for a conference where Francis Chan would be speaking.

We found Catalyst.

Not only was Francis Chan there, but so was Andy Stanley, Chuck Swindoll, Malcolm Gladwell, Rob Freakin' Bell, Tony Dungy!, Priscilla Shirer (Tony Evans' daughter), Dave Ramsey... Wow.

So we headed to Atlanta. Not actually Atlanta, but somewhere in the outlying universe. Getting to Catalyst was actually a lot more difficult than it sounded. No, the flight was fine. As was the hotel, somewhere about an hour away from downtown Atlanta (which is a great place to have a convention). The problem in getting there came on Thursday morning, as we left our hotel, 7 miles from the arena, with only 1 hour to spare.

It took us that full hour to get there. At least we found a radio station that played ALL METAL ALL THE TIME.

There is something wrong with the picture of a Church that is trying to be a good steward of the environment all jumping in our cars from our hotels all over the place and converging on the Gwinnet arena, but sitting in a exhaust spewing traffic jam for an hour to do so. Then to get into the arena to find it absolutely packed out (and the ushers weren't being a lot of help - I don't know if they could have been)... we ended up finding some places to sit up in the nosebleed section (I didn't actually get a nosebleed. Oh, wait, I did. But that was at lunch and had nothing to do with the altitude).

It then took a while to get into what was going on, as worship had already begun, and the hosts were a little wacky and I'm not much on arena events anyway, but when Andy Stanley took the stage, all of the logistical problems went out the door.

Update on Baby J

Most of my readers are familiar with the situation with Baby Jason - that we are his foster parents and that his birth parents are working to get custody of him. We would love to keep Baby J, but that doesn't look like what's in his future.

So we are working with his birth parents to hopefully get them custody sooner rather than later. They have been working with Job & Family Services on a plan to get him back. What we found out, however, is that one aspect of their plan involves them having to make certain appointments in certain areas where they will be deemed "fit parents" (being purposely vague here), but the earliest appointment they could get is December 1 (this was confirmed by our social worker; it's not a case of them "slacking off" or anything like that). Which means we will definitely have Baby J through then.

In the meantime, he is still a great little guy. Jonathan and Andrew love him (Jonathan counts how many times he smiles at him - though I think his numbers are slightly inflated, Jonathan does get more smiles than I do). Tara and I love him. The whole church family loves him (it seems like he gets held by different people every week in services). And his birth parents love him.

That's one thing nobody can get too much of: love!

Happy Birthday!

This is what I came into my office to find this weekend. The preschool classes had decorated a banner and they put it up on my bookshelves. I love working here!


(is it just me, or does the "birthday" banner say "BYOB" on the right side?)

Funny How it Works

Today I received our church's Apportionment Statement from our District.

If you're not in the UMC, you might not know that this is how the denomination funds its hierarchy (including our districts and conferences) and missions; through the churches each having an apportioned amount that we are responsible to give.

The only reason I mentioned this being "funny" was that we had our charge conference two weeks ago. At this charge conference, we are responsible to set our budget for the following year. Actually, the way things go these days with "cluster" charge conferences, we are responsible to have the budget affirmed by our Administrative Board beforehand. Before which the Finance Committee has to meet to work out the numbers, which it then brings to the Administrative Board to ratify.

And a large portion of our budget is the Apportionment.

Which must be in the mix before we can make an accurate budget.

Which was supposed to have been prepared and finalized two weeks ago.

Two weeks before we get the statement telling us how much our Apportionment will be.

Funny.