My Brother, The Thief

2009-11-10T10:17:00.000-05:00

What Would I Want From My Pastor?

I have written several posts about pastor expectations - what people expect from (me) as their pastor - sometimes positive, often unrealistic expectations. As I was thinking about this, it got me to thinking, "what would I want from my pastor?"

To be fair, I haven't "had" a pastor since 2001, when I left Kentucky. I worked for two pastors, but they did not pastor me (and there is a big difference). I was in several churches before I was a full-time pastor, some with fantastic pastors, and all with positive aspects I'd like to emulate.

I grew up at Macedonia Christian Church, and I don't really remember much about anything that went on from the pulpit - most likely reflecting more on me than on our pastor. I do remember that he had a good sense of humor, though. And that's important. It's important to me that my pastor not take himself too seriously. True, the pastor's work is serious work, not merely life and death work, but eternity work. But when a pastor takes himself too seriously, well, it's tough to relate to him.

Which brings me to the next church I was in: Chapel Hill Christian Church. I wasn't there long (and was usually gone off to college), but I witnessed a change in John, the pastor who was there then. His wife went through an illness and death, and John transformed. Some people get bitter and angry; John became much more focused. I remember (as a high schooler) when he would rant at/about those of us who were sitting in the back. But I also remember (as a college student) when he led our college group on Wednesday evening. Part of what happened was he became someone who we could relate to. But more than that, he could relate to God, and the way he related to us was God relating to us through him.

In college, one church I attended was my friend David's home church, and the pastor there (also named John) had passion for the lost. Real passion to see people saved. Passion to worship God in spirit and Truth. I want my pastor to have this passion. It's not about doing a job, it's not even about growing the church, but about seeing lives/eternities changed.

Post-college, I joined First Presbyterian Church in Evanston, where I was impressed by Rev. Dave Handley's commitment to cross-cultural mission and ministry and his care for the marginalized and oppressed.

While in seminary, I found Southland Christian Church, where Mike Breaux was the Senior Minister. I loved how I saw him treating his family and that he had boundaries and included self-care and regular play and exercise in his routine, all the while working really hard. He was a fantastic teacher and preacher who brought a relevant word, no matter how far along on your spiritual journey you were. He also shared glory - if something went well, he was the first to give praise to someone else, including his fellow ministry staffers as well as lay people. I attribute this all to the power of the Holy Spirit - he was allowing the Spirit to inform him and to shape his messages. This is the most important thing I want from my pastor: to be Holy Spirit led. All of the other stuff isn't important if this isn't true.

So, what would you want from your pastor?

2009-11-02T10:20:00.000-05:00

Alone

Isn't this one of our biggest fears? To be alone? It's one of the things I have heard people talk about as they prepare for the inevitable; I just don't want to be alone. Maybe you know someone whose one wish is to not get "stuck" in a nursing home - alone. I know that our church has several elderly people who are shut-in, and one of their sorrows is that they often feel like the church has forgotten them. We are working to reverse this trend, but it's a real issue. This is a struggle for me as the pastor as well. Pastors are already stretched to wear many hats; we wear some of them well and struggle with others. I received word (second-hand) that I didn't care about someone in a congregation I've served (because I didn't visit them enough). The truth is that due to the size of the congregation, I myself cannot personally care for everyone like God does (and to be fair, I had visited them multiple times). I've chewed on that word for a while, however, and this is one of the reasons why I am hoping our visitation team succeeds; that they remake (or build new) connections with those who are shut-in.

I wrote an article for our newsletter about loneliness and focused on these elderly (and mentioned our visitation team) and I got an e-mail from someone who isn't elderly but who is still lonely. She is an active participant in our church, but she's had a hard time - in spite of being active, she is still all alone.

We did implement (bring back?) a "meet and greet" time in our morning worship services, and one complaint I heard was "we already greet each other; why do we have to have this greeting time?" But the unfortunate thing is that lonely people often aren't greeted in "informal" before-and-after service greeting times. And then they are the worst kind of lonely: lonely in a crowd.

Being alone isn't by itself a bad thing - we should always take the time to be alone. Even Jesus did this regularly. But all of us (even introverts) were made for relationship (as an aside, this is partially why Trinitarian theology is important - God is always a relational God, Father, Son, and Spirit, sacrificially loving one another).

There is a balance, because each of us can only be fully engaged in relationship with so many people. I read a blog post last week and an article today that say that we can only be friends with 150 people (Dunbar's Number - popularized by Malcolm Gladwell, who we saw at Catalyst, in his book, The Tipping Point). When we try to stretch this, it just doesn't work.

This has a big effect on church - there will be people who are on the fringes (for various reasons) - and part of the challenge is to integrate them into the regular life of the church. So they won't stay alone. Certainly there are some who come in and want to remain on the fringes; they want to come in and check things out with no commitment (you see this a lot in large churches - you can't "hide" in a small church), but for most, it's difficult to be noticed and accepted.

And then, in the community in which they should be most loved and accepted, they end up alone.

My sister once lamented the reality of having to "break into" a church. No, she's not a criminal (though her brother's nom de plume is "the Thief). Her point was that it's often difficult for someone who is new to a church to establish themselves as gifted and available. Her experience came in the drama group in a church she joined shortly after college; though she's always been an excellent thespian (I was going to say "drama queen" but I didn't want her to take it the wrong way), but she couldn't get a part in their church plays.

Involvement is one of the cures for being alone in a church setting, but what happens when involvement is eschewed?

And what happens when groups reach their threshold? Though Dunbar's Number is 150, there are groups in which the maximum is 10 or 12. We believe that cell groups are this kind of group, and when they grow beyond the threshold, they need to birth a new group. But other groups can reach their threshold: I was in a praise band and when we got new members, we had a hard time accommodating them. You can only have so many guitars playing on stage at once. The church where I was accommodated the larger numbers (a couple years later) by forming multiple bands, each of which would play perhaps every third week. I don't know how this works for practice - would all groups practice together? Would they practice separately? What about space and time issues? Etc. There are definite growing pains.

And churches, by our nature, are supposed to grow. And when we grow, we reach thresholds. Some have addressed this issue by coming up with satellite, video, and internet campuses. Others have added services to their existing locations. Others have planted new congregations. But all of these require sacrifice and change, which are difficult, especially because we often develop close bonds with people with whom we have been praying and praising, whom we have been supporting and encouraging.

The truth is that Jesus promised that he would never leave us alone; the Holy Spirit is always with us. But sometimes this world can seem empty and lonely.

2009-10-27T20:02:00.000-05:00

Overheard

This past Sunday afternoon I needed to bring some information to some church members who were having a planning meeting at a cafe down the street from the house. I walked over and joked with them a little and then told them what I'd come to tell them.

The cafe isn't all that large, and there were only two parties present. One was the planning meeting, and the other was a couple I'd never seen before. No, wait, I'd seen them as they were parking their car in front of the cafe. Anyway, I couldn't help but overhear part of the conversation they were having with the waitress. By "they" I mean the husband. The wife didn't offer anything. The waitress must have been talking about churches, because this is what I heard from him:

Well, the Methodist Church preaches a watered-down the message...

My first reaction was to defend us and to invite him to our church, which doesn't seem to preach a watered-down message (at least not to my knowledge - you can read my sermons and make your own judgment). Then I thought, "And then we'll have this guy who'll just as soon attack us..." And furthermore, I needed to get home to take care of the kids.

This got me to thinking, however. What is a watered-down message?

I was going to define watered-down message, but I found a good definition out there.Dan defines watered-down gospel this way:

"Watered-down gospel" is often an accusation that is more feeling than logic. In other words, it sounds powerful and inflammatory, but the people using it really don't have any true definition of the phrase. For one, what do they mean by "gospel"? Do they mean doctrine? Do they mean "message of salvation?" Do they mean practice? In my experience, it usually means "your doctrine doesn't line up with ours, or doesn't go as deep as ours, so you are lesser Christians than we are." It tends to be tossed from those who love doctrine at those who love people. In the end, I think it's a meaningless phrase, so I try not to use it or answer to it.

I'm glad I didn't try to get into it with the guy. I know what the outcome would have been: I would have gotten frustrated in trying to demonstrate to him that our message isn't watered-down. And I wouldn't have made any difference in his life.

Besides, it wasn't my conversation!

If you were his waitress, how might you have responded to this gentleman?

2009-10-27T09:44:00.002-05:00

Truth-telling

Yesterday I read this blog entry about lying pastors and I have been chewing on it overnight. To sum up the article, the author was in a conversation with other United Methodist pastors and the question was posed, "When is it necessary for pastors to lie to people?" He answered that it was never necessary, at which point the entire table disagreed with him with comments like this:

You can’t tell people in the church the truth. They can’t handle it. We are there to protect them.
Yeah, the church I serve has some really dark skeletons in its closet. There is nothing good that would come of letting people know what really happened.
And you know for a fact that we can’t tell people in our churches a lot of what we learn at seminary. They don’t want to hear it, so we tell the same old stories the same old ways to keep everyone happy.
Mostly it isn’t lying; it’s just not telling the truth.

Really, to get the whole picture, you should go and read his post. And while you're at it, read his follow up posts here and here.

I was frankly shocked that the pastors would suggest that lying is not only somehow "OK" but even necessary or required for ministry.

Two of the reasons they posed that lying was necessary were to protect the congregation and to keep the peace. I remember an incident in college when my fraternity brother David Schaff came to me and said, "You first introduced me to Jesus, but I don't see you living that kind of lifestyle right now."

He didn't protect my feelings. He risked our friendship and his standing in the fraternity. But it was absolutely worth it, for him as well as for me.

They posed that lying is necessary to maintain confidentiality; that if you tell someone that this isn't their business, that they will assume the worst. Which is worse, breaking confidence, lying about the confidential material, or having someone assume the worst? I pose that "this is none of your business" or "this is confidential" is a whole lot better than giving false information, no matter what sinful gossips are going to make of it. Just because someone is going to react sinfully does not justify us sinning in the first place. Jesus told his followers that if someone strikes you on the cheek [sinful behavior], turn to him the other also. And if someone wants to sue you [sinful behavior] and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. What he is saying is that our behavior should not be contingent upon the behavior of those around us.

The real danger here is this: the very notion that pastors must lie, even if there are gray areas where truth-telling seems dangerous - this belief forces the creation of two classes, one that is somehow "above the rules" (those would be the lying clergy people) while the others (laity) must obey God's rules. There are already enough divisions between clergy and laity, and we members of the clergy are too often put on pedestals (and we often contribute to that) and/or held at arms length (as "acceptable outsiders"). These only lead to a lack of trust, a distrust that our profession has earned over many years of lying to our parishioners.

I have been told that the reason so many people appreciate a pastor's visit so much (especially in the hospital or in times of deep distress) is that for those moments, we represent God to them. I personally believe that this isn't just the job of the "pastor" but is also the job of anyone who carries the Holy Spirit within him or her. God blesses us to be a blessing; to represent Him in the world. What kind of representation do we offer when we feel like we need to break one of His Commandments? And how can we expect people to trust fully in God if we're representing Him through deceit?

2009-10-26T13:12:00.000-05:00

Here's Hoping

I updated the publishing portion of my blog today. This shouldn't have any impact on you, but I was hoping it would have some impact for me; I was hoping that it would allow me to title my blog posts.

My sermon blog has a little blank above where I type my posts. I have it on my (limited) igoogle homepage. But not on my blogger page.

It didn't work.
Drat.

2009-10-26T09:16:00.004-05:00

Priscilla Shirer: Catalyst Speaker recap

Honestly I don't remember all of what Priscilla Shirer said - my notes were few. I do remember that she was awesome in saying it. She is an extremely gifted speaker. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree (her father is a gifted speaker as well).

Her theme was from Joshua 3, where Joshua acted immediately in response to God, crossing the Jordan at flood stage. She focused on "God is the leader; follow Him."

She told some stores about her family - one was about Christmas morning when she and her husband attempted to remind their 5 and 3 year old children about the real reason for Christmas:

Dad: "Whose birthday are we celebrating?"
5 year old: "Jesus"
3 year old (looking at his pile of presents): "am I Jesus?"

She didn't just leave a funny story to stand on its own, however; she immediately showed its relevance: Don't we often act like that? Like we think we're Jesus?

As I write about this, I can't help but think about Christmas - how we say we're celebrating Jesus' birthday, but we do all but that. Our parties and our gift-giving center around us - ourselves, our families, and our friends. We must be Jesus then. Can you sitting on the floor on Christmas morning, surrounded by piles of gifts, then looking over and seeing Jesus alone on the other side of the room...

As a church leader, I am convinced that our church can change this trend. Or at least we can start to do a better job of celebrating Jesus' birthday.

2009-10-25T09:44:00.003-05:00

Catalyst Conference Recap: The Compassion Moment

If you were at Catalyst, you witnessed a powerful moment. If not, you can watch it below. (If you don't have enough time to watch the whole video, start at 3:45 for Jimmy Wambua's interview).

Catalyst 2009 Compassion Moment from Catalyst on Vimeo.

Here's the summary: through Compassion International Mark (a Canadian) sponsored Jimmy in Africa. To Jimmy, this meant life. Now Jimmy himself sponsors a child in Haiti - what an awesome example of compassion at work.

There wasn't a dry eye in the stadium when Jimmy was asked if he'd ever met his sponsor and Mark walked on stage.

2009-10-19T12:26:00.005-05:00

Catalyst Speaker: Rob Bell

I've seen Rob Bell speak several times before, I've read his books, and I've seen several of his videos, and I've always been challenged and encouraged by what he has to say. Last Winter at the NPC he rocked the house with an amazing message: he started out talking about the wrongs that "church people" have done to us (as pastors), but he moved on to talk about forgiveness - giving us a concrete way to forgive.

At Catalyst, he told us he was going to go in a different direction, that the Holy Spirit was leading him to go in another direction than the one he had planned ("the importance of beginning with the beginning"). Instead, he talked about "Is Bigger Better?"

In John 6, the evangelist talks about many in the crowd turned back and no longer followed Jesus. Sometimes the crowd thins.

In Luke 21, the widow's mite was somehow more than the gifts of the rich.

From this platform, he talked about how sometimes we pastors and church leaders chase after the next great thing, sometimes at the risk of ourselves and/or our families. We ask "what if the next thing we do isn't popular?" when this isn't Jesus' question at all.

He brought up one Jewish view of the Ten Words (Commandments) that says that the first 9 are eternally visible, but the last (envy) isn't, perhaps because if one keeps the first 9, the final is given as a reward. We won't want anyone else's life; ours is just fine.

He then shifted to talk about loving neighbor as self - and if we don't care for ourselves, we aren't loving self. (Example: Are we taking a REAL Sabbath?) Until we take care of ourselves, we can't take care of others.

Then he asked about our spouses & kids: are they getting our very best or what's left over?

Rob Bell's message was a timely message for many there; it's a message we all need to hear and hear and hear again. We cannot sacrifice our families at the altar of the church, and we cannot be constantly committing adultery with Christ's Bride. We are called to have the following priorities (in this order):

God
Our families
Our church/job

It can be easy to "accidentally" exchange #3 for #1 - thinking we're focusing on God, but really we're focusing on the church. Then our families suffer. Then we suffer. I'm not sure why Rob Bell said that what he was going to say was controversial; he seemed genuinely scared/nervous when he told us that he was going to switch streams and all. It didn't seem controversial whatsoever. Maybe he is really hard-charging and he was preaching primarily to himself. With as high-profile he is as a pastor, author, and public speaker, I can imagine this being the case. I know from a conversation I had at the NPC with an employee of his that he expects hard work and long hours from his employees, but that he expects the BEST from himself.

It's a good reminder, no matter if he was simply preaching to himself.

What do you do to ensure that God gets your best and that your family doesn't end up getting left-overs?

2009-10-19T08:54:00.003-05:00

Catalyst Speaker: Shane Hipps

Shane Hipps had a career in advertising as a strategic planner in communications for Porsche, where, as he tells it in his book Flickering Pixels, his task was:

to hijack your imagination, brand your brain with our logo, and then feed you opinions you thought were your own.

With this background, he became extremely media-savvy, and in this he figured out that the medium is the message. This is why someone might say something to you like, "It wasn't what you said; it was the way you said it." Because you might have said something nice or kind, but your body language and your tone of voice communicated something else.

How you say something is as important as what you say.

This is true with regard to the medium through which you choose to communicate as well. The medium, remember, is the message. And according to Hipps, Christianity is fundamentally a communication event.

I love the fact that guys like Shane Hipps are critically engaging communication culture, and it was quite ironic to be watching him on the 8 giant screens at Catalyst. But I was agreeing with him as we sang worship songs and not only were the lyrics on those screens, but they also included extreme close-ups of the worship leaders, and this was distracting (and a little bit embarrassing) to me. It elevated them from worship leaders (or lead worshipers) to big screen icons. I know that wasn't their intention, but it affirms Hipps' message.

I believe Shane Hipps is spot-on, and we need to evaluate our every use of technology as we communicate (irony #2 - that I write this on a blog, which I will share on Facebook and I really haven't evaluated how the message might change from me thinking it to typing it to it being read...)

The only thing that I think needs re-evaluated from the Hippsian point-of-view is the assertion that Christianity is fundamentally a communication event. I believe that Christianity is fundamentally a relationship; it's not just about communication, it's about a Person. To be fair, media (GREATLY) affects our communication about the Person (whether that communication be about God the Father, God the Son, or God the Spirit), but the heart of Christianity is not simply communication, it is a Person.

And that somehow changes the entire equation.

2009-10-18T09:51:00.003-05:00

Catalyst Speaker: Malcolm Gladwell

First of all, let me just go ahead and say it. Malcolm Gladwell is a genius. You should immediately go out and buy all his books and start reading them now.

Or you could just read his blog.

At Catalyst, he talked about leadership, mostly from the standpoint of the Civil War, and the main point he brought out was this:

What we need from our leaders in times of crises is not bold and daring leadership. It is humility.

Overconfidence is marked by not listening to others, while humility does.

The rub here is who the "others" are to whom a good leader should listen. Discernment certainly has a top priority in this; spiritual discernment of who those "others" are can make or break a leader.

Who do you listen to?

2009-10-12T09:41:00.002-05:00

Catalyst Speaker: Chuck Swindoll, part 3.

Five Statements Worth Remembering Over the Next 50 Years:

1. Whatever you do, do more with others and less alone. Relationship is key.

2. Whenever you do it, emphasize quality over quantity.

3. Wherever you go, do it the same as if you were among those who know you the best. This keeps us humble - especially when people who could refute our outrageous claims might be present!

4. Whoever may respond, keep a level head. Don't let the flatterers swell your head, and don't let the complainers crush your spirit.

5. However long you lead, keep on dripping with gratitude and grace.

2009-10-12T09:32:00.002-05:00

Catalyst Speaker: Chuck Swindoll, part 2

Three Important Observations to keep in mind as church leaders:

1. With every ministry, a special mercy is needed. In 2 Corinthians 4, Paul talks about this - it is only through God's mercy that "we have this ministry" - and that must always be true. It's never about us; we don't "preach ourselves" but only Jesus Christ. We are "jars of clay" (v. 7) - or "earthen vessels" to show that the power is God's, not ours.

2. In every ministry, the same things must be renounced and rejected:

Hiding shameful things
Doing deceitful things (wearing masks/playing games)
Corrupting truthful things

3. Through every ministry, a unique style should be pursued. Still,

It's not about me.
We declare Jesus Christ as Lord (it's all about Him).
We see ourselves as bondservants.
We never forget who we are... and who He is.
We fight temptation to be self-reliant, spectacular, or controlling.

2009-10-12T09:23:00.003-05:00

Catalyst Speaker: Chuck Swindoll

Chuck Swindoll received a lifetime achievement award from Catalyst Conference - it was great to see this conference recognize that we are standing on the shoulders of spiritual giants like Swindoll.

I will break his message into three blog posts. The first is this: Ten rules for doing things God's way:

1. It's lonely to lead.
2. It's dangerous to succeed (especially young).
3. It's hardest at home.
4. It's essential to be real.
5. It's painful to obey (giving up my way for the way of the cross).
6. Brokenness and failure are necessary (everything we learned has been through affliction, not happiness)
7. My attitude is more important than my actions.
8. Integrity eclipses image.
9. God's way is always better than my way
10. Christ-likeness begins and ends with humility.

2009-10-12T07:29:00.002-05:00

Catalyst Conference Speaker: Andy Stanley #1

In Andy Stanley's first message, he talked about making your mark (this was a theme in the conference). He stated that we won't see the mark we've left until long after we've left it. The challenge is that we don't know the thing we've done that will make the greatest impact - for good or for bad.

He talked about Joshua and his command to the Israelites to "cling to the Lord your God" and to "be very careful to love the Lord your God." Joshua famously stated "As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord."

Joshua's defining moment came in Joshua 5:13, where he asked the angel "are you for us or our enemies?" and the angel answered, "No."

We're not asking God if he's for us or against us: we're making the choice to be for or against God. This is huge!!!

Then Andy reminded us that "God takes full responsibility for the life that is wholly devoted to Him."

When we settle once and for all whose mark we will leave, we won't wonder who is for me or against me; we will decide who we will live for. These are two different things. We have to daily declare to God that we're for Him.

Living to make my mark is way to small a thing to give my life to.

2009-10-11T09:31:00.003-05:00

Getting to the Catalyst Conference

This past week, Rudy, Chad, and I made our way to Atlanta, GA, for the Catalyst Conference. If you want to know why we chose Catalyst, it's because we started listening to Francis Chan's podcasts (from Cornerstone Church - just click on Media and you can listen, too. Currently I have 217 of his podcasts on my iPod and have been listening to him while I run) and the guy has completely blown us away. So we started looking for a conference where Francis Chan would be speaking.

We found Catalyst.

Not only was Francis Chan there, but so was Andy Stanley, Chuck Swindoll, Malcolm Gladwell, Rob Freakin' Bell, Tony Dungy!, Priscilla Shirer (Tony Evans' daughter), Dave Ramsey... Wow.

So we headed to Atlanta. Not actually Atlanta, but somewhere in the outlying universe. Getting to Catalyst was actually a lot more difficult than it sounded. No, the flight was fine. As was the hotel, somewhere about an hour away from downtown Atlanta (which is a great place to have a convention). The problem in getting there came on Thursday morning, as we left our hotel, 7 miles from the arena, with only 1 hour to spare.

It took us that full hour to get there. At least we found a radio station that played ALL METAL ALL THE TIME.

There is something wrong with the picture of a Church that is trying to be a good steward of the environment all jumping in our cars from our hotels all over the place and converging on the Gwinnet arena, but sitting in a exhaust spewing traffic jam for an hour to do so. Then to get into the arena to find it absolutely packed out (and the ushers weren't being a lot of help - I don't know if they could have been)... we ended up finding some places to sit up in the nosebleed section (I didn't actually get a nosebleed. Oh, wait, I did. But that was at lunch and had nothing to do with the altitude).

It then took a while to get into what was going on, as worship had already begun, and the hosts were a little wacky and I'm not much on arena events anyway, but when Andy Stanley took the stage, all of the logistical problems went out the door.

2009-10-07T12:55:00.003-05:00

Update on Baby J

Most of my readers are familiar with the situation with Baby Jason - that we are his foster parents and that his birth parents are working to get custody of him. We would love to keep Baby J, but that doesn't look like what's in his future.

So we are working with his birth parents to hopefully get them custody sooner rather than later. They have been working with Job & Family Services on a plan to get him back. What we found out, however, is that one aspect of their plan involves them having to make certain appointments in certain areas where they will be deemed "fit parents" (being purposely vague here), but the earliest appointment they could get is December 1 (this was confirmed by our social worker; it's not a case of them "slacking off" or anything like that). Which means we will definitely have Baby J through then.

In the meantime, he is still a great little guy. Jonathan and Andrew love him (Jonathan counts how many times he smiles at him - though I think his numbers are slightly inflated, Jonathan does get more smiles than I do). Tara and I love him. The whole church family loves him (it seems like he gets held by different people every week in services). And his birth parents love him.

That's one thing nobody can get too much of: love!

2009-10-05T12:40:00.002-05:00

Happy Birthday!

This is what I came into my office to find this weekend. The preschool classes had decorated a banner and they put it up on my bookshelves. I love working here!

(is it just me, or does the "birthday" banner say "BYOB" on the right side?)

Funny How it Works

2009-10-03T12:55:00.001-05:00

Today I received our church's Apportionment Statement from our District.

If you're not in the UMC, you might not know that this is how the denomination funds its hierarchy (including our districts and conferences) and missions; through the churches each having an apportioned amount that we are responsible to give.

The only reason I mentioned this being "funny" was that we had our charge conference two weeks ago. At this charge conference, we are responsible to set our budget for the following year. Actually, the way things go these days with "cluster" charge conferences, we are responsible to have the budget affirmed by our Administrative Board beforehand. Before which the Finance Committee has to meet to work out the numbers, which it then brings to the Administrative Board to ratify.

And a large portion of our budget is the Apportionment.

Which must be in the mix before we can make an accurate budget.

Which was supposed to have been prepared and finalized two weeks ago.

Two weeks before we get the statement telling us how much our Apportionment will be.

Funny.

2009-09-25T09:12:00.004-05:00

Seven Ways to Catch Your Breath

Pastor Perry Noble often has great insights for church leaders - and one of the reasons I really respect what he has to say is that the church where he is the pastor continues to see great growth (not simply "transfer" growth where already-Christians decide that NewSpring Church is bigger and better than their current church, but conversion growth, where people are making decisions for Jesus Christ for the first time).

Today Perry posted 7 ways to catch your breath, and they really hit home. I didn't just want to post a link to his list, because I know that many of you (hehehe, I just pretended that I have more than "many" readers) won't go to his post and read it. Or maybe I just project my own busy schedule on everyone else.

Anyway, here are his ways along with my commentary.

1. Rest.

This should be obvious, but it often is not. God told us to protect a Sabbath; that should be enough. But if it isn't, check out this post on the chemistry inside a pastor's body. It's a real reminder of how we physically need rest.

Besides all of this, I am reminded of the H.A.L.T. acronym: warning signs (especially pointed toward the life of addicts, but applicable to all of us) Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired. To combat the "tired" part, we need rest!

2. Find a Hobby.

This gives us a chance to focus on something else for a change. Most of us don't have an "off" button, and we could spend all day every day doing church work; that's not healthy! It's one reason I run. It gives me a chance for "down" time (though some of you might not believe that running is "down" time!) and a time to just think and pray.

It's one reason I enjoy soccer so much, too. Besides loving the game, it gives me a chance to go out and live out a Christian life in front of "the world" all the while competing as hard as I can.

3. Get a Journal.

I journal off and on - sometimes I'm really good at it and other times not so great. But I've found that when I slow down enough to write, it is extremely helpful. In this world of over-disclosure, there are (believe it or not) some things that shouldn't be written in a blog or shared on facebook. One way a journal is helpful is when you are doing other things (especially spending family time), often an idea comes up... you can just write it down and be done with it.

4. Have a date night with your spouse without the telephone.

Absolutely important. Because we as (married) church leaders are married to our spouses, not to the church... the Church is called the Bride of Christ, and when we value the church above our spouses, we are committing adultery with Jesus' Christ's Bride. That's just wrong!

And you'll never find someone who, after their divorce, gladly says, "I'm so glad I was always available to everyone else but my own family" or "I'm so glad I took that phone call and ignored my family."

5. Take a season of rest every year.

This is a hard one for me to actually get done. It's hard to plan for an extended time away from the church (and it's also rather difficult to save up the money to get away for that amount of time - trust me, it's not really a complete rest when you are still in town).

But part of it (honestly) comes down to #6; I get caught up in the fact that I am the one hired and called to do such-and-such, and I have to remember that it's really God's job, not mine, that the Holy Spirit is the one who really does the work, not me.

6. Focus on God's sovereignty and not your ability.

Here is a direct quote from Perry:

"He loves the church more than you! He said that HE would build the church…which means you don’t have to. AND…if you think you are SO essential to your church that it could not survive without you for a few weeks…then you either suck as a leader OR are struggling with pride!"

That is a real wake-up call. Truth is, if it was about me, the church would (and should) close tomorrow. Or today. But it's not about me at all. And that is a great thing.

7. Have someone you can spill your guts to... other than your spouse!

Key. Absolutely key. And I would go on to say that this ideally should be someone else who understands the demands of ministry, preferably another pastor, someone in ministry who yo can be absolutely honest with.

I have struggled in ministry where I was alone - I had friends, but nobody who I could really open up and share with totally honestly. Know also that not everyone in ministry is willing to be that open and honest. I worked with other clergy who either blew off my struggles (once, when I was feeling burned out, a fellow staffer told me to basically "suck it up" and keep (over)working - that he had been doing it that way for years. Unfortunately by that time, he was pretty much "mailing it in" and the church was suffering the consequences. Another time, a fellow pastor used things I said in confidence against me - so not every pastor is the right one to be this person).

One of the real blessings about moving to New Knoxville, where I was a solo pastor was that I wasn't alone. Our county clergy met monthly for breakfast and I was invited to a Lectionary Bibly study and soon became friends with Pastor Greg Roberts (we would often stick around after Bible study to chat about what was going on).

Soon I met Pastor Dave, the "new" pastor at the UCC (the other church in NK), and we became very good friends (I honestly still consider him one of my best friends) because we would get together often to talk about ministry and our struggles, to laugh together, and (most important) to pray together.

Then I joined an accountability covenant group with five pastors - we were brutally honest with one another, and this was absolutely important to me. So when I moved, I found a similar group to meet with. These groups aren't just for programming; they are meant to spur one another on to good deeds - to Christlikeness. I wouldn't trade this for anything.

Is there anything you would add to this list? What would that be?

2009-09-16T19:12:00.004-05:00

Peter Mayer Group Concert

When our worship chair asked my permission to book the Peter Mayer Group in concert, I had never heard of them. I didn't know that Peter Mayer's main gig was playing with Jimmy Buffett. I didn't know that he was a fantastic guitar player and songwriter.

All I knew is that he (along with the rest of his band) is a Christian and our worship chair wanted him to play at our church. And soon I found out that the leader of our worship band has a man-crush on him.

I scooted over to his myspace page and gave him a listen and I really liked what I heard.

So we booked him to come and play at the Millersport UMC. He has apparently played at nearby Buckeye Lake in his other gig, and though we had a decent turn-out, it was slightly less than Jimmy Buffett might draw.

I hadn't been to a good concert in a while - I can't remember one since the Violet Burning played in Ohio a couple years back. Other than that (and a rare double showing of the Violets at Ichthus the year I took Stonybrook youth there), it would probably date back to college.

Anyway, I took my place in the front row, center seat (yes, I was that guy), hoping I wouldn't be disappointed. Everyone else had slipped down from the office to "help out" (read: listen to them warm up), but I hadn't (was a little embarrassed that I'd showed up late to help them unload their gear). From the first note, I knew I wouldn't be disappointed at all.

I was reminded heavily of the Freddy Jones Band (one of my college favs - if you go to their site, make sure to listen to In a Daydream - great song), but there was something about Peter Mayer that reminded me of my late friend Chad Miller. Reminded me enough of Chad to bring tears to my eyes.

The music was a mix of upbeat, acoustic, electric, funny (the Onion, anyone?), contemplative, Christian, and secular tunes with jazz, acoustic, folksy, and rock roots - all with a great sense of humor and good rapport with the audience. At one point early on, they had us (the audience) simulating a rain storm. It sounded cool. At another later point, we had a fantastic conga line stretching all around the entire church. Now that had to have been a first!

I thoroughly enjoyed myself. Fantastic concert!

2009-09-14T21:45:00.002-05:00

First Day of School

Today Andrew and Jonathan began a new year of preschool: Jonathan for the second year (but in a new classroom) and Andrew for the first time.

Jonathan was pretty happy to go and was excited about going and about his new classroom. Andrew felt like such a big boy, getting to go to preschool (after all year begging to go last year). Although as Tara prodded Andrew to help decorate his preschool bag, he wasn't interested at all.

Anyway, we got them to school early - way early... (on purpose) we first went to the hardware store to pick up some supplies for the playground, then we went to the playground and fixed an issue, then in to class.

Andrew acted like he wanted to start a crying show, but he already knows Miss Heather, his teacher (and already loves her), so he pretty quickly got involved in class. Way involved.

On one pass past my office, Miss Heather mentioned to me, "Guess who gets the award for catching my blue beta fish!"

Yes, it seems that Andrew stuck his hand into the fish bowl and caught her fish.

Bare handed.

She is said to have done the "silent scream" pose as she tried to coax him to put it back. When I saw it later, it was floating nicely upside down. No, just kidding. It was fine.

After school, Andrew really wanted to decorate his school bag. Everyone else had pretty decorated bags after all.

But that was his first day of school. I wonder what will happen on the second day!

Seasons of Life

2009-09-10T10:16:00.001-05:00

Today as our church buries one of our own, I am reflecting on the seasons of life. We do not get to choose how we come into this world or (usually) how or when we exit; these are simply seasons of this life.

One dies, another is born.

One suffers, another celebrates.

In the midst of struggle, someone is victorious.

One of the strangest things to contemplate is how life goes on, unaffected. When a funeral falls on a sunny day... (I vividly remember the bright blue sky on the day of Troy Simpson's funeral, which turned out to be a horrific day in the life of our country - September 11, 2001). A wedding party takes pictures in a park, while businessmen rush by, needing to finish up Friday's work (on Saturday), oblivious to the celebration happening in front of them. A funeral procession comes by, and traffic stops (or doesn't stop) and drivers wonder, "Who was that? Maybe someone I knew?"

And life goes on.

If this world were all there was, I think I would be overwhelmed with grief. Life would be meaningless; even the greatest legacy we could leave would not be enough. But this world is not all there is, and for that I am grateful.

2009-09-04T13:56:00.002-05:00

President Obama's Upcoming Speech to Our School Children

I have been hearing a lot of complaints about President Obama?s upcoming speech to school children. I think I can sum them up in three phrases:

"The president has never done this before."
"Democrats would have had a fit had George Bush tried this."
"He's going to push his partisan politics on a captive audience and thus brainwash them."

All of those comments are simply partisan nonsense. Although I must admit that I am inherently mistrustful of the government and just as wary of the public school system, I also understand that my Christian duty is to pray for our elected leaders. And to remember that Jesus isn't a member of a US political party.

I seriously doubt that President Obama will be "out of control" in this speech; he's not going to use this as a chance to wave a Kenyan birth certificate in the faces of our school children, to push secular Americanism (or Islam) as the American religion of the future, or to push his healthcare plan (well, he might do that).

More likely, he's going to tell the school children to "be excellent to one another and party on, dude." Oh, wait. That was Bill & Ted. More likely he'll tell them to obey the (Four) Demandments of Hulkamania (training, saying your prayers, eating your vitamins, and believing in yourself). Or just maybe he will going to tell them to stay in school, to be nice to each other, to work hard, to celebrate diversity, and that together we can make the world a better place to live in.

Whatever he says, the best response for a Christian parent is to use it as an opportunity to spend some time with their child to help them to understand what is True. Part of the complaint against the speech is the accusation that our children are a captive audience and that we as parents can't counter what President Obama might teach them in their public school. To that I ask: Why do you send your child to public school anyway? How much "control" do you have over all of the specifics of what your child's teachers, coaches, aides, administrators, etc. say? What do you do when your child comes home having learned about the theory of evolution? What do you do when your child's best friend tells him/her about "the birds and the bees" on the playground? Do you panic, or do you use these as opportunities to sit down with your child and talk about the Truth?

Were I a parent of a school-ager who would be hearing/watching the president's speech, I would also watch/listen to it so I could have an accurate assessment of what he said, so I could thus speak to my child about it on a knowledgeable basis. I hope to raise my children to be critical thinkers, not just when it comes to thinking about what a president (who I did or didn't vote for) says, but also about what they see on TV, what they read in books, and even what their dad says in the pulpit.

Furthermore, I hope to continue to spend good quality time with my children so I will continue to have a voice in their lives. Too many of us leave "parenting" up to the government (yes, I said that - including our governmental public school system as part of that) and then we're upset at what they are teaching our children.

Instead of complaining at what a horrible job "they" are doing at raising our children, let's live lives of integrity in front of our children and make sacrifices in order to teach them well, not just by words, but by deeds.

2009-08-31T10:38:00.003-05:00

What Next?

I am a competitive person. As far back as I can remember, I have always been competitive. I remember a time when I was playing U12 soccer and I was miserable. I felt like the coach was always picking on me. It always seemed like when we would get to play a scrimmage game, he would always play, too, and he would put himself on the other team, and then he would man-mark me. I was getting kicked and banged up by the coach, and I wanted to quit.

My parents wouldn't let me quit, but they listened to my concerns and talked to the coach. Turns out he thought I had potential but "needed toughening up." I thought I was tough enough, and I decided to show him in our next practice. When it came time to scrimmage, sure enough, he lined up across from me. When the ball came, I missed the ball (later I would find that this was called a "professional foul" and kicked him in the ankle. He went down, and he never played against me again. Several years later he was refereeing one of my games and he pulled down his sock to show me that he still had a scar from where I'd kicked him. I guess I was tough enough!

As we went on and as my skills got better, I would routinely play against better players, and I loved it. I loved running drills in practice, and I would work as hard as I could. Track practice was the same; when I was supposed to run a 400m interval in 75 seconds, I would run it in 70. Sometimes my teammates didn't like to practice against me because I had one speed: all out.

I really liked having a coach push me to work harder.

But after playing high school soccer, and after playing club soccer in college, the days of having a coach were over. I still play as hard as I can, but I don't have someone else pushing me. At least I get to play. I wonder about someone who has played football at a high level - where do they go next? At least a runner can run local races. A basketball player can play Y-ball. A soccer player can play in an open league or an age-group league (when I was a teenager, I swore I'd never play in one of those old man leagues like an over 30 team). But what about a football player?

I wonder, what's next?

Like I said, I am competitive. I have been running races a lot more over the past several years. One of my life-long goals was running a marathon, and once I did that, I wondered what my next challenge would be. It was running a second marathon (the way I saw it, anyone could run one, but it took more to run a second one). But then I wondered what would be my next challenge.

I began running more 5K races - for a couple of reasons. One was that I like seeing some of the same people at every race and making new friends. But, of course, I love the competition! For a while, I focused most on my finish in my age group, but lately it's been about my time. I set a goal this summer of beating 20 minutes (42 seconds better than my then-PR), and I accomplished that goal with a time of 19:35. What next?

One of the things I see a lot with some people is that once they accomplish a particular goal, they live off that accomplishment. For example, if the goal was to run a marathon, then they do it, then for the next 5 years they eat like they just ran it! "yeah, man, I ran a marathon. Now pass the pork rinds!"

Or in life in general: maybe they did something high level, but now they say, "I did that once, so now I just sit around." To that person, I say, "What next?"

Exhausted

2009-08-30T20:07:00.001-05:00

Sorry for a lack of posts here - I am beat. It is hard work having a baby in the house, even when the baby is wonderful. Waking up twice a night every night is no picnic, even when the wonderful little fella sucks his bottle right down and goes back to sleep.

Unfortunately this leads to mental exhaustion as well, and when it comes time to write something new, well, let's just say it doesn't come easily!

I've kept up the running, mostly because I want to do well Saturday in our local 5K, but I will just have to accept it if I don't do as well as I have been doing lately; some of my runs have been miserable!

Despite the level of exhaustion, I've been doing pretty well personally, and our family is grateful to have friends who have stepped up and helped out!