Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Back in Business

As the great philosopher, Robert VanWinkle, once said, "I'm back, and I'm ringin' a bell." OK, so that was a badly dated reference, come-back or not. I am finally back online, however, so my faithful readers can once again revel in their knowledge of what's going on in my exciting life. Without any further ado (if you call the above "ado"): here it is:
  • Our mailing address isn't our street address. The ladies at the post office (where we have to go to pick up our mail) are not too happy that we have mail marked with our street address instead of our post office box. Honestly, how were we supposed to know that we didn't have mail delivered to our house??!?!
  • If you find out that the Sidney Singing Soldiers are going to be singing at your church on a given Sunday and you're in charge, don't also include puppets, youth testimonies about church camp, and an extra-long prayer time. Or a sermon. And don't look around too much while they are singing; you might catch someone's eye and then you'll never stop laughing.
  • I have to refrain from laughing when people ask, "Where did you park?" after church services. The smart-alek answer, "At my house." probably isn't all that appropriate, either.
  • I've got two words for the "narthex" (entry way) of the church: Orange. Shag. Carpeting.
  • If you don't want something, chances are someone will be willing to haul it off to a burn pile for you.
  • We still don't have a kitchen. Well, we have the room where all the kitchen stuff will go, but the microwave (quietest microwave in town) is just a drawing on the wall.

I'll include some more commentary and updates on what's really been going on at another time. In the meantime, I've got sermons (and entire services) to plan...


the sister said...

So was the eye you caught one that belonged to your wife?

The Dunce said...

Your update raises more questions than it answers!!

Is your house a special no-delivery zone? Or are your post officers so laden with work that they are unable to deliver to anyone?

Please tell us more about the S.S.S's (perhaps in code words so Google doesn't find them). Do they have anything to do with the Village People?

When people ask where you park, do you think they are planning to vandalize your car (or is it a VW microbus these days?)? Or do they mean "PARK", you know, like when you drive out to Lover's Lookout (just past Burn Pile #77a, perhaps) and "NECK"?

Orange shag carpet, no questions there, all I can say is RETRO-CHIC. I think you're setting the trend not following it.

Can you use the (drawing of a) microwave to heat up imaginary food? Or do you have to resort to cooking hot dogs and marshmallows over the burn pile?

Good luck with your planning (and settling). I don't know your audience but perhaps you could do themed services. I recommend a professional wrestling theme (hymns as entrance music, prayers before the matches, a shoot-style sermon, and perhaps a battle royal cage match with the Singing Soldiers). I won't even charge you for this great idea.

Big Mama said...

Welcome back. Now I can know what you are up to.