Monday, February 27, 2006

I Wish I'd Never Heard of:

Here's my "first annual" list of things I wish I'd never heard of. This list can include people (probably celebrities), phrases, or words.

  • If I'd never, ever seen a sign for a "first annual" anything, I would be happy.
  • I wish I didn't know the word paparazzi.
  • Any number of celebrities are on my list. I wish I had never heard of Paris Hilton. Same goes for Jennifer Lopez (which I refuse to abbreviate). And Jessica Simpson and her husband. And Renee Zellweger. And Regis. It irks me that someone can simply say Regis and I know who they're talking about. And Donald Trump. I'm not complaining about his hair. Hey, a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do. It's just when I hear him hawking CarFax, I wonder when he ever bought a used car. Anyway, I'm getting off on a tangent (surprise, surprise). Anyway, I wish I didn't even know who Donald Trump was. Or Michael Moore. And I really, really wish I didn't know the names of anyone who plays on "Desparate Housewives" (I'm embarassed that I do - and so I won't admit that I know 3 of their names, despite never having seen the show).
  • I wish I'd never heard of Jim Rome. No, I take that back. I wish other sports talk radio hosts had never heard Jim Rome and decided to imitate him.
  • "Apolo" should have two l's. And should never be uttered in my house, not even on my television.
  • Same goes for Bode (except for the two l's).
  • I shouldn't know the names of any figure skater or gymnast. Except for MaryLouRetton.
  • Coldplay? Forget 'em.
  • How about American Idol? Well, I have to admit to being amused by early stages at times (I don't remember which one I watched, but they did include some funny moments of people who needed to have chosen a different line of ambition). But I wish I didn't know names like Clay Aiken or Ruben Studdard (for the record, if you say the name "Simon" to me, I first go to Alvin & Theodore's brother). And the same goes for any reject from a "reality TV" show. That should get its own bullet point, so...
  • Reality TV shows. I haven't watched much reality TV, so I'm spared most of this, but I wish I didn't know any of the names. For example, I wish the word "Puck" was only associated with hockey and not "The Real World" (yeah, that example goes a few years back). I wish that I didn't know who "Richard" from "Survivor" was (I didn't even watch it, and I know).
  • My doctor isn't named "Phil."
  • I wish I had never heard of "Gitmo." Yeah, seriously, I don't need an abbreviation for a prison where we keep suspected terrorists and so forth.
  • Instant Message-ese. I supose it might be different if I had to pay for keystrokes, but UR is where Abram was from (check it out in the Bible), not "you are" or "your."

Is that enough? I will probably think of others...


Big Mama said...

Well, I don't know most of those names so I am greatly blessed- I think.

Brian Eberly said...

One word......Myspace!! Aaghh!!!!