Tuesday, December 23, 2008

My First Annual List of Christmas Pet Peeves

(If you know me, you know that two phrases I dislike extremely are "First Annual" and "pet peeve).

1. The Christmas Song. How egotistical can you get? What makes this song "The" Christmas song over such notables as "Joy to the World" or "Silent Night"? Or... how unoriginal can you get? Couldn't you have called it "Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire" instead? That at least would have been original and would have linked the title with the song. Which annoys me.

2. Early Christmas. I used to complain about retailers putting their Christmas displays up too early... all the way before Thanksgiving. Now I understand that they need to move their products and Santa moves product, but putting him up before Halloween? C'mon here! How do they know it's the real Santa and not some ghost from the haunted house down the street dressed up like Santa? Ever think about that?

3. Santa Baby. Worst.Christmas.Song.Ever.

4. No Money. No, I have plenty of money. But not everyone does, and what annoys me is that there are those among us who do not have the money to buy essentials, let alone gifts, yet the extravagance of those who do have is ridiculous. I see commercials advertising $1000 items as "stocking stuffers" - hello! - I thought stocking stuffers were supposed to be like an orange (in the toe), some candy, and some little trinkets. I always loved getting those things in my Christmas sock (which I laugh at pictures of; we used to put out our "biggest" socks, which meant our oldest and most stretched-out tube socks). So if we're celebrating Jesus birthday (more about that in #5 and #6), how about giving to him this season?

5. Giftmas. I understand that non-Christians like to celebrate a fun gift-giving holiday, and I know that all the gifts make retailers happy (and give them means to support their families). But if you're a Christ-follower, the holiday is all about Jesus' birth. Which brings me to #5.

6. December 25 isn't Jesus' Birthday. Yeah, we know that. As we used to say in elementary school: Whoopie-doo! The big deal isn't the exact date on which Jesus was born to Mary; the real issue is celebrating his birth. Since we don't know the exact day, and since it is our tradition to celebrate it on December 25, let's celebrate it then. Pagans: you can still celebrate Solstice then, just like anyone is free to celebrate Giftmas or Festivus.

That's all I've got for now. Merry Christmas! And if you don't have somewhere to go for Christmas Eve and you're in the area, our church services are at 6 and 7:30 Wednesday evening.


Rudy said...

My First Annual Response to First Annual Pet Peeves:

1. The Christmas Song is awesome. "Silent Night" and "Carol of the Bells" were already taken. And besides, You haven't mentioned being annoyed with the movie, "The Christmas Story," which I thought you would have had the most issue with. It completely, according to this line of reasoning, usurps Jesus entirely... But everybody loves that movie! "Come on Ralphie!"

2. Festivus and Giftmas are annoying, but they do provide for good sales... You're right though.

3. Dec. 25th is His birthday. I get cards with "eye witness painter" pictures every year. I figure it must have been a "paparazzi" of painters just camping out behind bushes and such.

4. Santa Baby is not half as bad as "Jingle Bells."

5. Early Christmas is fine with me because I think Halloween is a little silly. That is probably because I am not 9. I start listening to Christmas Music in the middle of October.

6. It is Jesus' birthday. You are right on about that.

The Thief said...

My first annual response to Rudy's first annual response:

1. Now that you mention it, "The Christmas Story" (movie) is awfully presumptious as well, even moreso than the wretched "Christmas Song." But at least it's funny.

2. No response needed.

3. Sorry about that - I forgot about those paparazzi painters and how white Mary, Joseph, and Jesus were.

4. Jingle Bells is bad, but not Santa Baby (or, as my Facebook friends have reminded me, Christmas Shoes).

5. Halloween isn't the point. The point is rampant commercialism. And running wretched Christmas songs into the ground.

Anonymous said...

In re: Giftmas

As a non-Christian (Jew), one of my biggest pet peeves are Jews who celebrate Christmas claiming that it's just a secular holiday anyway. Clearly, it's not. We have our own holidays and shouldn't need to bogart any of yours.

The Thief said...

Thank you, Anonymous, for a good point.