If Anyone Wonders Where My Family Stands,
This blog post (originally from a church planter, but absolutely on target for any pastor) says it all.
I love the church, but I didn't marry it. Actually, the Bible refers to the Church as Christ's bride, so if I'm going to cheat on my wife with the church, I'm also messing around with Jesus' betrothed, and that's just wrong.
I'm glad that the people in Millersport are treating my family well. But remember, even though my wife happens to have a role of prayer warrior in the church, it doesn't mean she's your triangle between you and me. She wasn't called to be the pastor; I was. So if there are church issues, you can talk to her if they need prayer, but talk to me if they need pastoral action.
Very quickly, to summarize the post that I linked to:
1. God did not call my wife to pastor this church.
2. She does not need to know everything that happens.
3. She does not need to be at everything.
4. Don't complain about my wife.
5. She serves where she feels called.
6. I don't dump my church problems on her.
7. I don't cheat on her with the ministry.
8. She loves where we are.
9. I don't put financial pressure on her.
10. I date my mate.
11. I made sure she felt called.
12. I protect her.
2 comments:
I know I am an outsider listening in but I can't help but comment on this one.
Setting the sort of boundaries you're setting is sooo important. I just watched a good friend of mine and his family go through a really tough transition, he had to leave, partly because there weren't good boundaries.
Good for you. One of the pastor's I worked for was always volunteering his wife without asking her....and then wondering why she was upset.
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