Could This Be the One?Or... Wait and See
Even before we were married, Tara and I talked about adoption. Our eventual wish was to adopt children. After a lot of prayer and conversations, we determined that we would attempt to adopt domestically, rather than overseas (note that this was what we felt like we needed to do; we don't have anything against those who adopt from overseas), so we went through our county training to be foster/adoptive parents. Our adoption of Andrew was a private adoption (we hadn't necessarily planned that, but it was how God worked it out). Through all of it, we only once got a call to foster (and it was a placement that wasn't right for us).
August 2009 we got the call to be foster parents for Baby J. We thought this placement would lead to adoption, but the information we got wasn't the full story, and his birth parents did everything they could to get him back. We got a great opportunity to give him a good start, and though we were sad to have to "give him back" (and we still miss him) we were fine with it. The system worked like it was supposed to. Especially for Baby J's parents.
Then in June 2010, we got another call, this time to foster (and hopefully adopt?) Jesse & Nathan. The agency already had permanent custody of them and they were looking for a forever family. After having them for a while, we realized that we couldn't give them the on-going care they needed, all the while, giving our other kids the level of support and concern they need. The other thing was that their ages were too close to our other kids' ages, and poor Andrew often got the worst of the whole deal. We got to pass their care on to another couple who now is able to give them the attention they need, and we continue to pray for them (parents as well as the kids).
After that placement, we revised the age limits of children we would accept. We decided we needed a solid break from toddlers, but we would take a baby. So when another call came in (only a week after we'd cleaned house), asking if we'd take a baby and a 3 year old, we declined. But when we got a call this week, asking if we'd take a tiny baby boy, we agreed.
So last night we got to go to the hospital and meet Baby JT. He was born on December 3, probably about 1 1/2 months premature. He's a little under 4 pounds, and it was love at first sight. He is a precious little peanut, as cute as can be.
We understand how the system works; we know that we may or may not get to keep him (keep him? we can't even take him home from the NICU yet! - they're saying probably not until after Christmas), but we're going to get to love him as long as we have him.
Which is the deal we've made with God on our kids in general. We don't consider any of them "ours" to keep; they're God's, and we just get to "borrow" them from Him for a while - as long as He lets us.