What Would I Want From My Pastor?

I have written several posts about pastor expectations - what people expect from (me) as their pastor - sometimes positive, often unrealistic expectations.  As I was thinking about this, it got me to thinking, "what would I want from my pastor?"

To be fair, I haven't "had" a pastor since 2001, when I left Kentucky.  I worked for two pastors, but they did not pastor me (and there is a big difference). I was in several churches before I was a full-time pastor, some with fantastic pastors, and all with positive aspects I'd like to emulate.

I grew up at Macedonia Christian Church, and I don't really remember much about anything that went on from the pulpit - most likely reflecting more on me than on our pastor.  I do remember that he had a good sense of humor, though.  And that's important.  It's important to me that my pastor not take himself too seriously.  True, the pastor's work is serious work, not merely life and death work, but eternity work.  But when a pastor takes himself too seriously, well, it's tough to relate to him.

Which brings me to the next church I was in: Chapel Hill Christian Church.  I wasn't there long (and was usually gone off to college), but I witnessed a change in John, the pastor who was there then.  His wife went through an illness and death, and John transformed. Some people get bitter and angry; John became much more focused.  I remember (as a high schooler) when he would rant at/about those of us who were sitting in the back.  But I also remember (as a college student) when he led our college group on Wednesday evening.  Part of what happened was he became someone who we could relate to.  But more than that, he could relate to God, and the way he related to us was God relating to us through him.

In college, one church I attended was my friend David's home church, and the pastor there (also named John) had passion for the lost.  Real passion to see people saved.  Passion to worship God in spirit and Truth. I want my pastor to have this passion.  It's not about doing a job, it's not even about growing the church, but about seeing lives/eternities changed.

Post-college, I joined First Presbyterian Church in Evanston, where I was impressed by Rev. Dave Handley's commitment to cross-cultural mission and ministry and his care for the marginalized and oppressed. 

While in seminary, I found Southland Christian Church, where Mike Breaux was the Senior Minister. I loved how I saw him treating his family and that he had boundaries and included self-care and regular play and exercise in his routine, all the while working really hard. He was a fantastic teacher and preacher who brought a relevant word, no matter how far along on your spiritual journey you were. He also shared glory - if something went well, he was the first to give praise to someone else, including his fellow ministry staffers as well as lay people.  I attribute this all to the power of the Holy Spirit - he was allowing the Spirit to inform him and to shape his messages.  This is the most important thing I want from my pastor: to be Holy Spirit led.  All of the other stuff isn't important if this isn't true. 

So, what would you want from your pastor?

Successful Preaching

In a post called "Things I Wonder" MDiv student Jenny Smith ponders what makes for successful preaching. Her "gut" says "transformation."

I have to admit, that's when I feel most successful; when I hear or see the stories of transformation that have flowed from the sermons. I don't feel all that successful when all I get are lackluster "nice sermon, pastor" responses from the congregation.

Transformation is indeed one of our goals; we recognize our mission as a United Methodist Church is making disciples of Jesus Christ for the transformation of the world. If the things we do aren't transformative, then we're missing the boat. If we don't offer people the opportunity to meet Jesus or to hear from the Holy Spirit, then we might as well close up shop.

The difficulty with basing success on transformation, however, is the fickleness of human nature. If I am obedient to God and preach the Word of God in a relevant and well-prepared way and nobody responds, am I unsuccessful? I'm not talking about shooting up a Saturday Night Special Sermon and hoping that it strikes the mark or pulling an "oldie" out of the sermon barrel and hoping it hits home.

Here's the deal: in the Old Testament, we read from many prophets. Were they successful? It seems that maybe only Jonah was; he was the only prophet who saw instantaneous life change and transformation following his proclamation of the Word of God. Yet he became depressed (to the point of becoming suicidal) on the "success" of his message.

Other prophets faithfully proclaimed the Word of the LORD to hardened hearts and unlistening ears. Were they successful?

I hold that they were successful; they were obedient. Success is not based on us transforming the world, because plain and simply, we cannot do it. Transformation is the Holy Spirit's job, and when we base our success on how well we do the Holy Spirit's job, then we are in trouble.

One of the difficulties is that we don't preach in a vacuum. We preach to humans, who have the freedom to accept or reject the Word. We preach to humans who are at all stages on the journey, and it's all but impossible to judge "transformation" based on one little slice. Sure, there are the remarkable transformations, when we see someone delivered from bondage right here and now, but often that deliverance comes through obedience for a long time (12 step groups, as one example).

If we base our preaching success on the immediate stories of transformation, we also risk a shallow transformation. I know I have been convicted by sermons and then have gone and done absolutely nothing about that conviction. That I wasn't transformed (in the long run) should not be blamed on the preacher. I should shoulder that blame myself for being stubborn and hard-hearted.

So I base my preaching success on my obedience. Did I preach the Word of God? Did I bathe the whole process in prayer? Did I listen to the Holy Spirit as I was studying? Preparing the message? Developing the Power Point? Choosing hymns? Was I willing to change what I wanted to say in favor of what God might want to say? Am I dealing with personal preferences, or am I dealing with God's Truth? Do I get the two confused? When I say "thus says the LORD" (I don't really ever say those words) is it really something God is saying?

What do you think? Upon what criteria would you base preaching success?

Pastor Expectations

At times, I have felt swamped by the expectations of being a pastor. It seems like everywhere you go, there are different expectations, and everyone you talk to has different expectations.

I have experienced expectations all across the board. I understand from the Book of Discipline that there are certain things expected from ordained clergy. We have certain responsibilities

• Preach the Word
• Lead in worship
• Read and teach the Scriptures
• Engage the people in study and witness
• Counsel persons with personal, ethical, or spiritual struggles
• Perform the ecclesial acts of marriage and burial
• Visit in the homes of the church/community (esp. the sick, aged, imprisoned, and others in need)
• Maintain all confidences (as an aside, it's sad that we have to have this included)
• Administer the sacraments of baptism & the Lord's Supper
• Encourage the private & congregational use of the other means of grace
• Be the administrative officer of the local church
• Be the temporal affairs administrator of the church
• Participate in denominational and conference programs & training
• Lead the congregation in racial and ethnic inclusiveness
• Be a servant leader (like Jesus)
• Give diligent pastoral leadership in ordering the life of the congregation for discipleship in the world
• Build the body of Christ as a caring and giving community, extending the ministry of Christ to the world
• Participate in community, ecumenical, and inter-religious concerns & encourage the people to become so involved

Underlying all of this is the duty to engage and empower others to do so. The problem is that the expectation is often that the pastor does these things, so we don't have to. John Wesley, he of the lay-led class meetings, would spin in his grave to see this. I don't mean to point my finger at "lazy lay people" who just want the pastor to do all the stuff that (as Christians) they're supposed to be doing; much of this has come because churches have had power-hungry control freaks appointed instead of servant leaders. When we as clergy have to control everything in our congregations, we're not living out God's call at all. In fact, the last time I checked, God was the one who is in charge, not you, me or Rev. or Pastor X, Y, or Z.

(when I was appointed as pastor of the NK church and was leaving Stonybrook, people would "congratulate" me, saying, "Oh, you're getting your own church" as if I was getting a dog or a cat. I would always answer with the following: "No, it's God's church. I'm just being appointed as the pastor there.")

The last thing I want is for the church to be "my" church. Granted, I want to stay here for a long time, and I want to be able to see certain things change and grow (for example, I am hoping to help "order the life of the congregation for discipleship in the world"), and certainly some things will bear the stamp of my personality, but it's not about me. It's all about Jesus.

That reminds me of my purpose for writing this: the expectations of the pastor. I have some expectations, and it's sometimes hard to voice. Some of them are solid and healthy, but others are not. Some expectations help me to live a godlier life - like when I am around town and just living life and am tempted toward negative actions or reactions, I think, "I'm the pastor, and how's it going to look if the pastor is... ?"

There are others that aren't so healthy - they center on acting like other pastors and taking their mannerisms instead of being myself. I'm not talking about being unwilling to change or to be transformed - I'm always evolving into the person God wants me to be. Acting like someone else doesn't have anything to do with this. Especially when it comes to preaching. There are some really, really good communicators out there, from whom I have a lot to learn. There are some awesome message-writers who have written messages that I could appropriate ("resource" as one pastor I worked with liked to call preaching someone elses's sermon), and I can learn from them about how to craft a message, but it's important to me to be able to do this while maintaining integrity by being myself, all the while keeping the focus on God and on His purpose.

I think part of the problem of the expectations that people put on pastors is that many of us pastors (or maybe I'm only speaking for myself here) have huge expectations of ourselves.