Saturday, November 06, 2004


I was reading a friend's blog that deals with Loss and it made me think about a lot of things that I've lost. Tonight I was thinking about some things I could stand to lose.

I could lose some of my thin skin. Well, not if I put it like that. I could stand to be more thick skinned. I take things way too personally. If you interrupt me when I'm saying something I think is important, I'll totally shut you out. I feel unappreciated anyway, and I've always felt like people don't care what I say, so when I'm interrupted, it hurts all the more.

I could stand to lose some of my people-pleaser mentality. I don't want anyone to be unhappy, so in order to try to appease people, I do things that seem to make everyone unhappy.

I could lose some low self-esteem. Again, like the thin skin comment, I don't want to have less esteem, but I'd love to be more confident. That's one thing that I'm doing something about; I'm enrolled in the Nehemiah Leadership Institute and one of the goals thereof is for me to gain confidence. It's already working, but I've got a long way to go.

I could lose so I can gain. What's that supposed to mean? Well, it's like when I was graduating from college and I lost pretty much everything I had planned out for my post-college life when I "lost" Cathe -- my plans all caved in and I was left alone -- but it was all for the best, because if I hadn't "lost" Cathe, we'd have ended up together and miserable (and either divorced or hating each other by this time). I would have never ended up with Tara, I would have never gotten the chance to coach soccer at Lexington Christian Academy, I wouldn't have a MDiv, I wouldn't be in youth ministry...

How's that for some losses?

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