Thursday, June 01, 2006

Who's Coming to Dinner, part 2

If you read my last post, you get the idea. But I was thinking: if I could invited Bible characters, who would I invite?

Of course, Jesus would head the list. He's the only no-brainer that I can think of. No, I'm not saying that He has no brain. I'm saying that inviting Him would be the only completely easy decision. But other than the Lord, I think it would be harder than it looks at first glance. Here are some possible choices:
  • Moses? He'd probably insist that Aaron come along to talk for him, and when I'm off in the kitchen getting something, Aaron would probably start collecting jewelry for a golden calf. Plus, if Moses didn't have enough to drink, he'd start swinging his staff around and hitting rocks with it. And I don't think I can cover his menu wishes of manna and quail.
  • Noah? Nah, he'd spend his time lining the pets (or other guests) up two-by-two, and, of course, he'd end up passed out drunk and naked.
  • Samson? Young Samson would want to bring some women of, well, undesirable reputation, if you know what I mean.
  • King David? He'd end up going up on the roof to spy on the neighbor as she sunbathes.
  • Nathan? Might bring up things I don't want everyone to know about!!
  • King Solomon? I don't have enough seats for all his wives and porcupines. hehheeh
  • Elijah? As long as ravens bring the dinner, he'd be happy. But Elisha would follow him and he'd ask for a double portion, so that means we'd have to fix extra food.
  • Jeremiah? He'd bring the whole dinner attitude down with his depression.
  • Hosea? He'd want to bring his wife... yikes!
  • Jonah? Have you ever smelled the inside of a fish? And besides, he'd probably sit outside sulking about the heat.

How about some New Testament people?

  • John the Baptist? As long as we serve locusts and honey, he might be happy. But, then again, I don't know if Baptists are allowed to eat with Methodists. heheheh
  • Peter? Kind of rigid; if I disagreed with him, he might end up cutting my ear off. Or he might claim he never knew me. Or he might say he can't eat with me because I'm a Gentile. Or he'd show up soaking wet from his walking on water adventure.
  • Thomas? He would doubt that I ever invited him, and he might not show up when everyone else did.
  • James and John? They'd be fighting over the seats of honor.
  • Paul? The guy's a bit radical, especially if you ever read Walter Wangerin's book Paul.
  • I'd be tempted to invite Martha, because I know that she would get all the work done, but she'd want to bring Lazarus, and he still smells a little from that death incident.

So I decided on the following:

  1. Mary (the mother of Jesus): No, I'm not turning into a Mary-worshipper. With her humility, she wouldn't be like all the parents who brag about how wonderful their children are, even though she would actually have the right to.
  2. Aquilla and Priscilla: They seem like a great missionary couple. I think it would be awesome to invite them over.
  3. Ehud: OK, he might get a little crazy, but he's always been my Bible hero. Just make sure to put him at the end of the table so he doesn't hit elbows with anyone.
  4. Levi/Matthew: The guy used to be a tax collector, but he sure knows how to have a good time!
  5. Zaccheus: he just seems like a good guy.

Honorable mentions:

  • The guys who took their paralyzed friend up on the roof: they have to be great friends to do that.
  • The persistant widow: I didn't want to invite her, but she kept asking, so I decided I might as well invite her.
  • Timothy: I've just always liked him.

6 comments:

Big Mama said...

Hummmm, I'd have to think about the other 2 (besides my kids, spouses and their children)--that does count only 3 doesn't it???? Bible Characters would be more of a challenge: think I will think on that!

Chuckinator said...

Being a history freak, I'd invite Jesus and Hitler to dinner. I'd love to hear Hitler justify his actions to God.

muzik316 said...

hilarious

Mary Beth said...

This is really funny.

Friar Tuck said...

Ehud is also one of my faves.

Anonymous said...

Where is the sunday pickup soccer being played? It seems to have been moved from Wapak @ 4.